Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
i have to stop feeling sorry for myself and just look at the happy.
i used to be all about the happy
where's that Alex now??
well people got really annoyed with that Alex, and thought she was on crack
but Alex was happy being that Alex.
i think that Alex Needs to stop over thinking things. stop over thinking people's opinions about her... i hope Alex reads this and agrees..
OK so I've been going through a stage where i just really want to get my act together and really focus on my future and my goals. (the 73% in chem. isn't helping.. stupid Mrs. brown) and i don't know what the heck i want to do in my life. it's not the fact that i don't know that's bothering me, it's the fact that i have big dreams... we're talking Broadway, musician, peace corps, art/musical therapist, a missionary in Uganda. and people just have been working their whole lives for these goals. and are REALLY good at them, because they are just so hard-core on knowing this stuff, but me.. I'm just whatever about the whole thing. and all the GO-GETTER'S are gonna get the job/college/life that they want and I'm gonna be stuck in no-where land with my coffee mug behind some insurance guys desk. if you ever want to reach me in 30 years just call 1-800-life's-a-fail. I'll be happy to chat. oh yeah also i am secretly obsessing over if I'm getting fat. i know i know you ALWAYS hear girls say "ooh I'm so fat" when they are like size negative zero, but I'm foreal. and it is scary. AND my party is coming up soon, and I'm like okkk well nobody has RSVP'D soooo, is nobody coming? what if nobody shows up? how horrible? that is like sadly a huge nightmare of mine.
i always feel like i am so on fire fore God, and then sometimes not at all. i love talking to this girl April mills about my problems, with God, cause she seems to understand. but i always think she's too busy, cause she is. and i love talking to Kristin, but she always Say's something to lighten the mood, and sometimes i don't want my mood lightened. i just want someone to listen, i feel distant. and i always tell my mom everything. but now that my parents are divorced. it's hard to do that when you don't see her for a week. well i don't know. i just don't know.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
- i just wanted to wallow in my self pitty all weekend
- the good ole exams that were braking me
- i wanted to hang out with that STUPID guy who was making me upset
- sometimes that church makes nothing better, its just a drama zone
- people were going who i knew lets say... didn't like me very much
and all this was over thrown by this reason
- God was telling me too
so yes, i went.. and yes.. their was drama... but also yes.. there was God. and my friends who can talk to me for hours and just listen to me rant. i knew that I'd have to come back to my world in just 2 days, but I'd come back more sturdy and ready for life's little challenges... so i want to say thank you to Kristen, Kristin, Krissy, and Rachel for being their when i needed someone to talk to. and just listening.. and also all the other people who helped me this week.. like April, and my dad... even though sometimes I'm stubborn, i love the advise you give me.. it's hard to realize God is their, always... not matter what.
Monday, January 11, 2010
if life was easy where would all the adventures me?
it's just hard to realize that when all you can see is the bad things.
i know i have to keep on going.
"stand in the rain, stand your ground. stand up when it's all crashing down. stand throught the pain, you won't drown. and one day whats lost can be found. just stand in the rain." - super chick.